An up and coming English DJ who is hoping to get more gigs after Brexit is unlikely to see any increase because he is shit.
Warren O’Neill, aka DJ Wazza, believes his “career” is ready to go to the next level once all of the “foreign DJs have fucked off home”.
However, sources close to Mr O’Neill claim that there is very little chance of his fortunes improving because his mixing is rubbish and he play shit music.
“That daft bastard honestly believes that he’s going to be a superstar DJ after Brexit but there’s literally no chance of it happening,” explained one of DJ’s friends. “Even if we do get rid of all the foreign DJs and all of the British DJs were on holidays, he still wouldn’t get any more gigs, not unless promoters are looking for DJs who mix directly from grime to soulful house and uses spin-backs during every mix.”
O’Neill, who voted to leave because he wants “Britain to be British again”, believes that he will be guaranteed to get more time behind the decks when the UK finally leaves the EU.
“I’m sick of all of these foreign DJs coming over here and taking our sets,” he told Wunderground this morning. “I’m not a racist or anything like that, I hate the white foreigners just as much as I hate the brown foreigners, but it’s just not right that every club you go into nowadays has some bloody foreign lad with a weird name like Richy Ahmed or Damian Lazarus playing in it.”
“Once we give them all the boot, there’ll be a lot more chances for good, honest and hardworking DJs like me,” continued O’Neill, a second generation Irish immigrant who has been on the dole and “selling a bit of gear on the side” since leaving school in 2006. “I’m definitely going to get my shot now.”
“Once I start getting gigs here, I know I’ll eventually get to go and play in places like Ibiza, Berlin and Las Vegas too. That’s the dream.”