According to the latest observations, Facebook is now made up entirely of videos taken at various music festivals.
Leading social media experts claim that the yearly phenomenon, known simply as “festival season”, is set to get worse as more and more new festivals spring up all over the world.
“Everyone’s a film director these days,” explained twenty two year old Michael Duffy, who specialises in creeping on young woman on Facebook. “Once we enter festival season things start to get really silly. It starts around May but once we hit June there’s nothing up there at all except poxy festival videos.”
“They’re really annoying too, especially when they’ve got crappy captions like ‘so and so absolutely upending the place’ or ‘so and so blowing my head off’, you’d swear these DJs were tornados or terrorists by some of the things people say about them,” joked Duffy. “The ironic thing is, they’re usually playing tech house or some shit that wouldn’t blow the head of a snowman.”
“It’s a really difficult time of year for someone in my line of work,” he continued. “You see, most of the videos are concentrated on DJs or bands and, as a creep, I have very little interest in these things so I’m forced to look in other places, like Bebo or Myspace, for my creeping and, as any good creep knows, they’re totally shite.”
“My entire sex life depends on social media and I haven’t had a good wank since the end of April,” revealed the creep. “Unless something drastic happens that’s set to continue the whole way through the summer, I’m not sure if I can take that sort of sexual frustration.”
Experts predict the videos will continue to appear on Facebook until late September when they will be replaced by statuses complaining about the weather.