Facebook today announced another series of changes to the privacy settings of the social networking site which will allows users to add more detail to the previously simplistic Relationship Status feature on the site.
“In the past people would just be able to say whether they were single or in some kind of relationship with someone and tag that person if they were in a relationship,” explained spokeswoman Debbie Frost. “But what we’ve sought to do with our new features is to expand on the information that users provide about their romantic and sexual lives to offer a fuller picture of each person.”
“So for example, users will now be able to open the Relationship History tab in the Basic Information window and add in previous romantic partners,” continued Ms. Frost. “When all users above the age of legal consent have entered their sexual history they will then be able to browse through the profiles of people within their network and see each persons full sexual history displayed prominently.”
“They’ll also be able to see if they’ve shared the same sexual partners in the past using the Mutual Shags tab. So, for example, they’ll be able to see if a guy they like has ever been involved with anyone in their circle of friends, or see if the user’s ex-partners have ever had relations with any of their friends.”
Ms. Frost claimed that research carried out by Facebook indicated that 98% of Facebook profile holders used the site for locating and assessing potential partners. “There’s even a whole lexicon built around searching for potential mates on Facebook. People talked to us about “creeping” and “stalking” on Facebook so we thought that adding a fuller description of people’s sexual history would be a fun and appropriate feature for the site.”
“Any prudish or reserved users who don’t want their sexual information to appear on the site can simply opt out by opening the About tab on their profile then selecting Basic Information. Beside where it has a drop down for Relationship Status there’ll be a new window which will say Previous Partners. Users will then be able to tag their conquests into that tab or if they want to be a stick in the mud and opt out they can simply select None, I Am A Virgin.”
Some privacy groups, including Europe-v-Facebook, have denounced the planned updates as “invasive and illegal” claiming that they will do everything in their power to have the update rolled back. “This is beyond the pale,” claimed Europe-v-Facebook campaigner, Tony Nesbitt. “I don’t want people to know my previous sexual history, there’s people in there I’m not proud of that I was planning to take to my grave. It’s embarrassing enough even having people know who my wife is, never mind anyone else I’ve been with.”
“I really don’t want to see it introduced,” claimed IT analyst, Simon King. “My Mum is quite attractive for her age and a bit flirty with a lot of my friends since she divorced my Dad. I already know that she slept with a guy who used to bully me at school and I never hear the end of it. I’m afraid when this update rolls out that I’ll discover more of my Mum’s sexual conquests.”
“I think it’s great. I’ll be able to see which people in my network have slept with a person who I fancy in the Mutual Shags tab,” explained hairdresser and self confessed ladies man, Jack Collins. “It avoids the chances of you bringing a girl home for sex and then introducing her to your family only to find out that she’d slept with two of your brothers. I don’t want that to happen again.”
