Felix Da Housecat Completely Loses Interest In Music Following Life Changing Surgery

Fans of famed Chicago DJ and producer, Felix Da Housecat, will be saddened by the news that he has “completely lost interest in music” since his owners had him neutered.

“Ever since he reached sexual maturity he’s grown increasingly difficult,” Felix’s owner of 42 years, Joseph Spalding, told Wunderground yesterday. “He was just so sexually aggressive. Whether it was towards man, animal or object, it didn’t matter to him,” explained Mr. Spalding. “I’d be trying to read the morning paper when he’d come bulling across the table at me, spraying urine in my Kellogg’s Fruit ‘n Fibre and acting the absolute nuisance. I knew he needed a good snip of the ballbag to set him straight.”

Mr. Spalding’s wife, Samantha, confirms that Felix had become “a complete nightmare in recent years” but is quick to point out that they didn’t come to the decision to chemically castrate him lightly.

“No one wants to neuter a beloved pet,” she explains, “but he had been constantly collaborating with the neighbours’ cat, Miss Kitten, who is well known around the area for her promiscuity. We just figured with all the cat diseases flying around these days that a dickless cat would be easier to live with than an AIDS ridden one,” she sagely claimed. “We never thought he’d take the castration as bad as this though. He’s like a completely different animal.”

According to the Spalding’s, Felix has become sullen and withdrawn since the operation, refusing to eat and completely ignoring his Technics 1210s. To make matters worse, he has repeatedly picked at his stitches and is now dealing with a nasty infection that has made him “irritable and violent.”

“We’re at the end of our tether with him at this stage,” a badly scraped Mr. Spalding continued. “He won’t wear his sunglasses, he’s turned down a chance to do the new Fabric compilation mix, and to make matters worse he clawed the absolute fuck out of the new leather sofa. If he doesn’t pull his act together soon, he’s getting an express trip to the bottom of a river bed, courtesy of a weighted sack.”