Festival Balloon Sellers Remain On Furlough Until 2022

In the latest update surrounding COVID-19, it has been confirmed that festival balloon sellers will remain on 80% furlough until February 2022.

Government MP, Rishi Sunak, confirmed: “every industry has its key workers, and balloon sellers are no different within the entertainment sector.”

“Nobody works harder for their customers” continued Sunak. “Like ghosts, they literally appear from out of nowhere with what looks like the heaviest rucksack known to man that nobody can understand how it got past event security.”

“Then in the middle of a packed dancefloor they blow up about a thousand balloons without fuss, selling them at the bargain price of £5 each or one and a double for a tenner, offering ravers that expensive, short term, unnecessary buzz you didn’t realise you definitely don’t need, but still continue to do it anyway, because it’s fun.”

“Modern-day heroes who we look forward to getting back to work in 2021.”

Wunderground spoke to Tyrone James, CEO of Buzzin Balearic Beats Balloons & Bitches (5B) about the announcement.

“I’m delighted” he told us. “I was out with the Canada Water crew today – you know the boys who stop you every 2 yards outside of Printworks? Well there’s over 600 who work that stretch, and they’ve all got families to feed so this government initiative is very welcome from all of us at 5B. We are actually working on virtual balloons at the moment. Watch this space.”