Serbia’s premier music festival, Exit, has promised to allow all British citizens access to this year’s festival regardless of the outcome of Brexit negotiations.
Sources within the festival have also revealed they will do anything within their power to “help all Brits in their hour of need”, even changing the festival’s official tagline to “Don’t worry about Brexit – just come to Exit!”.
Festival spokesperson Sagor Mešković spoke to Wunderground earlier, “Our British friends are really having a tough time at the moment,” he told us. “They have Brexit, their weather is shit, their food is shit and now, to top it all off, Prince Harry is marrying an American. They literally can’t catch a break so we’ve decided to help them out over the summer.”
“To try and brighten up their day, we’re guaranteeing that no British citizens will be denied access to the festival for visa reasons,” explained Mešković. “We’re planning on making this year’s Exit Festival a bit of a modern day Dunkirk, with a Mr Bean or Benny Hill type twist. Only, instead of evacuating British citizens from Europe, we’ll be welcoming them with open arms and open cash registers, for up to a week. After that, they’re on their own.”
According to Englishman Miles Burke, the news that Exit Festival will not be affected by Brexit negotiations has been music to his ears.
“Thank fuck for that mate,” he told us. “I couldn’t handle a Brexit and an Ex-exit in the same year. That sort of rejection would be far too much for me, a bit like when I ran out of people on Tinder without getting a single match or when I played one of my DJ sets to my mum and she walked out of the room so she could go and listen to Cliff Richard in the kitchen. She doesn’t even like Cliff Richard.”
“I’m half thinking of barricading myself in that fort once the festival is over and just staying there for good,” continued Burke. “Apparently, it was built by the Romans, or something. That was like five thousand years ago, if it can survive for that long I’m sure it can survive Brexit negotiations. Maybe I’ll meet a few like minded people and we can all stay, even start a new country and call it Extain or Britex or something like that.”
If you would like to escape the shekels of Brexit negotiations, or simply attend Europe’s best festivals, click here for more information on Exit Festival.