Festival Stage Inside Active Volcano Definitely Going To Be Lit

Secret Solstice festival have announced audacious plans to put a stage inside an active volcano at this year’s festival.

According to organisers of the Iclandic festival, the decision to move the stage from a dormant volcano, where it was located last year, to an active volcano was made due to the lack of “fire emojis” used to describe the stage on social media following the festival.

“We’re really excited about our volcano stage this year,” claim Oleg Stefanson, Secret Solstice’s Head of Production. “Last year, people said the trip inside the volcano looked really cool but just wasn’t quite lit, so we’ve decided to make sure it’s lit this year by having it in an active volcano, it’s probably going to be the most lit festival stage ever.”

“It’s really quite dangerous,” continued Stefanson. “There’s no way we’d be able to get insurance for it so we’ll be asking people to sign a waiver on their way in, but don’t let that scare you off, only thirty percent of people who go inside volcanoes actually die so there’s a good chance that you’ll make it out alive, you’ll probably be quite sick from sulfur inhalation and have third degree burns on some part of you body but, hey, having serious fun is dangerous.”

The stage, unofficially labeled the HElrow Stage, will be set inside Iceland’s most active volcano, Theistareykjarbunga, a word that anyone from outside of Iceland would need to have their tongue surgically removed to pronounce.

“It’s going to be great fun listening to people trying to pronounce the volcano’s name,” Stefanson said with a giggle. “Between that, and all of the really cool DJ’s who are brave enough to actually get up and play some tunes, it’s going to be a really awesome stage and, to top it all off, if we do happen to get an eruption, we’ll get to see the greatest pyrotechnic show of all time, and it won’t cost us a penny.”

Rumours that Secret Solstice organisers were planning to use human sacrifice inside the volcano to guarantee good weather for the festival have been rubbished after it was confirmed that there will be twenty four hour sunshine at the festival, and any human sacrifice will be purely recreational.

If you would like the chance to party inside the volcano at Iceland’s biggest music festival, Secret Solstice, taking place between 21 – 23 June, click here for more information and tickets.