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April 18, 2017
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Future House Fan Wondering What All That EDM Nonsense Was About

Future House Fans confused about EDM

An American future house fan has been left wondering what all of that EDM nonsense was about after watching a short clip of Steve Aoki on YouTube.

The clip, which apparently showed the highlights of an Aoki performance at Ultra Music Festival, included footage of the American performer throwing cake at the crowd, crowd surfing in an inflatable dingy and spraying the crowd with champagne.

Josh Willis, a twenty-three-year-old bartender from Little Rock, Arkansas, admitted he was an EDM fan before discovering future house, which he claims is “way more grown up”.

“I’m the first to admit I used to love that shit,” Willis told Wunderground earlier. “I cut my teeth at some pretty awesome EDM shows back in the day, two years ago, but as soon as I heard future house I started to realise that EDM was just a bit of joke. Looking back now, I can totally see that it’s childish and stupid, you’ve got some guy jumping up and down and throwing cakes at people, that’s not music, it’s nonsense, I really don’t know what all of the fuss was about.”

Despite sounding almost identical, Willis believes future house appeals to a far more educated and discerning dance music fan than EDM.

“Some people say that future house is just EDM in a different package but those people, honestly, haven’t got a fucking clue what they’re talking about, ”he continued. “If you actually sit down and listen to it you’d clearly be able to hear that EDM goes build, drop, build, drop, build, drop, while future house goes build, drop, build, drop, extended build, drop, fake build, drop, build, drop. Anyone with ears can figure that shit out.”

“I just can’t take any of those EDM DJs seriously,” revealed Willis. “Guys like Skrillex, Diplo, David Guetta. For real, how the fuck can you respect these guys? Future house is different, I’m really into Tchami at the minute. That guy’s a priest, you know you can trust him, he’s a man of the cloth. Then you’ve got the likes of Marshmello and Don Diablo, both stand up genuine guys who you can totally tell are in it for the music, not the money.”

According to experts, future house is set to be replaced by progressive electro funk in 2018, which in turn will be replaced by deep future funk house in 2021, which will last for two years before being replaced by sparkly future groove tech in 2023.

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