Real Life

Man Nobody Knows At Afterparty Is Only Person In London Unable To Get An Uber

A man who turned up to an after party in Barking, East London and didn’t even bring any cans, was apparently unable to get an Uber or a cab home.

The man, who identified himself only as ‘Pete’ was asked to leave the party after only an hour when guests realised that nobody knew who he was.

The party, hosted by trainee Hydrotherapist Kayleigh Wilks, started at approximately 4:45 am on Saturday morning. Kayleigh and her friends had been asked to leave XOYO after door staff had discovered a number of the group all crammed into one cubicle doing keys of ketamine. On her way out, Kayleigh had offered up her home as the venue for an after-party.

“The bouncers were pushing us out the door when I turned around and shouted to Abby and Dan that we could all go back to mine, it was dead in there anyway, we didn’t even want to stay”.

She continued, “We got back to mine and there was only a few of us, maybe 8 or 9. The doorbell went again and when I opened the door this bloke was just standing there, smiling. He just said “I’m Pete, here for the afterparty, I followed your cab” and before I could say anything he just walked in. At first I thought he must have known some of the others, but eventually, we all worked out that none of us knew who he was”

After much deliberation, the group decided that one of them would ask Pete to leave.

“I waited until he went outside for a fag and joined him, I just said ‘so, who do you know that’s here then fella?’ He looked at me a bit gone out and said something I couldn’t quite understand, he was fucked to be fair, absolutely off it”. When it became apparent that Pete hadn’t been invited, didn’t know anyone and hadn’t even brought any gear he was willing to share, Mr. Munday asked him to leave.

“He reckoned he couldn’t get an Uber! I checked mine and there were like 8 cars nearby, there were even XLs available, but he was insistent that his wasn’t showing any and he didn’t have cash for a cab. When I asked him to see the app on his phone he went to hand it to me, then dropped it and stood on until it smashed, then he just smiled at me and went to sit back down”

At the time of press Pete is still at Ms. Wilks’ house, despite the party finishing late last Sunday morning. 

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