A girl who had extremely high hopes for what she thought would be an epic after party, consisting of happy, vibrant, drunk and high people, all dancing to loud music, has been left “disappointed” to learn it’s actually a room consisting of herself and nine blokes all sharing one gram of coke.
“What a fucking buzzkill,” said Nicola Murray, from Tunbridge Wells, Kent. “This boy I met in the club told me about the after party and said to bring my mates. None of them were up for it but I didn’t want to miss out on what I thought would be the most awesome way to carry the night on. Turns out he lives in a one bedroom flat and had a load of his pals all crammed into his crack-den of a front room, which stank of weed and BO. They were all arguing over who put the money in for the drugs. He didn’t even have any alcohol or fizzy drinks. It was cheap gear and tap water all the way.”
“They all sat and watched a recording of Match of the Day from earlier on that night,” continued Nicola. “It was six o’clock in the morning and I was fifty miles from home, sober as fuck, watching nine geezers do pitiful amounts of Charlie and discussing if Burnley deserved to beat West Brom. Worst night ever. I just wanted to go home to bed as soon as I got there.”
Wunderground caught up with Jimmy Hunt, the man responsible for hosting the terrible after party, “I never in a million years thought she’d come back,” he laughed. “She was well young, like eighteen or whatever, so I don’t think she knew what we meant by ‘after party’. In the cab she asked something about what music the DJ would be playing and I nearly pissed myself with laughter.”
“Turns out she didn’t want any of the beak, which was a right touch as it meant more for us. She gave me petrol money so I dropped her home the next day but she didn’t give me her number. I had a blinder of a weekend but I bet she’s regretting every second of it now.”
