In heartbreaking news, a happy hardcore fan, who once claimed to be the happiest man alive, is reportedly now a manic depressive.
According to Andy “Smiler” Murphy, he, like many other people associated with the happy hardcore scene, are now feeling the effects of using partying as a way of masking their true feelings.
“I used to love going out and partying,” Andy told us earlier. “To be honest, I’d still do it only most of my friends have kind of moved on from that scene and are all settled down and married with kids and mortgages. To be honest with you, one of the only things that cheers me up is knowing that I don’t have kids and a mortgage.”
“I was a real goer back in my day,” reminisced Murphy, thirty nine. “I’d go out for days on end, swallow more drugs than a small hospital and have the best of times with all of my mates. Sometimes, I even believed I was truly happy but now, looking back, I can see I was only doing it to help me put on a brave face, people called me smiler because I was smiling on the outside but that’s not how I felt on the inside.”
“Once Monday hit my smile was turned upside down into a frown quicker than a line of whizz would disappear up my nose at six o’clock on a Friday evening,” continued Murphy. “During the week, I felt like I was in a prison, no one to talk to and trapped by the feelings in my head, a bit like that R Kelly thing Trapped In The Closet, only without the midget shitting himself. Then, once Friday hit, it was like getting out on temporary release, it was great until the cycle started again.”
“It was a tortured soul, I was surrounded by friends but constantly felt like I was on my own,” added Murphy. “The saddest thing is; I could have spoke to any of my mates and things might have been better. It’s only know, that I’ve confronted my demons and spoke to someone, that things are actually a little easier for me. Sure, I still feel shit at times but, on the plus side, I’ve got all the Valium and Xanax I could ever want.”
According to experts, if you feel like you are experiencing signs of mental health issues or using partying to hide from your true feelings, you’re not the pussy you might think you are, it’s ok to feel like that and you should reach out and talk to someone.