Wundergroundmusic.com gives you a roundup of all the best stories from the last 24 hours…
1. Tomorrowland Lineup Chosen By Randomly Booking Every DJ Alive: In a rare insight into the workings of one of the world’s largest dance music events it has emerged that dance music behemoth Tomorrowland undergoes a detailed and expansive booking policy that involves “just randomly booking everyone”.
2. Impotent Man Cured Thanks To Miley Cyrus’s Public Sexualisation: A middle aged man who has been suffering from chronic erectile dysfunction is “delighted” with Miley Cyrus’s public sexual meltdown.
3. Scientists Discover Normal Looking Psytrance Fan: The internatinoal scientific community today announced the ground breaking discovery of the first ever normal looking psytrance fan.
4. Hero Dealer Letting Cash Strapped People Pay For Drugs With Sexual Favours: A kind hearted inner city drug dealer was widely praised today for his innovative and thoughtful approach to selling drugs which includes letting those less fortunate pay for their drugs in sexual favours rather than cash.
5. Dave Clarke Makes a “Shit Cup Of Tea”: Shocking news has emerged from the dance music world today that claims techno stalwart Dave Clarke “makes a shit cup of tea”.
6. Fuckbuttons Angry To Discover Lifeless Hipster Crowd Are Actually Cardboard Cut Outs: Fuck Buttons ended their scheduled gig prematurely last night when the band discovered ticket payers had been replaced by 2000 cardboard cut out versions of themselves.
