In what is being described as the most unsurprising piece of news of 2016, Dutch cheese connoisseur Tiësto has shocked absolutely nobody by claiming that he wants to be remembered as the “Mr Bean of dance music”.
Speaking at an end of year seminar, the DJ claimed that he has big plans for 2017, which will see him inject an element of “cringey comedy” into his performances.
“I’m sick of being the ultra professional, dry, super talented enigma that people know me as,” explained Tiësto. “There’s so much more to me, I’m like an onion, and I’m not only talking about the smell, I’ve got so many layers and a real playful side. I want to bring that out next year, I’ll be adding comedy to my show, for sure. My hero is Mr Bean and I’d really like to be remembered as the Mr Bean of dance music.”
Wunderground spoke to Ian, a twenty eight year old from Manchester, England, about the DJ’s claims, “He’s doing a pretty good job of it if you ask me,” he responded. “He has the natural clumsiness, social awkwardness and general all round baboonery down to a tee. And, his music’s been a total joke for years now.”
“If you’d have asked me ‘which DJ is most like Mr Bean?’ I’d have said Tiësto straight away,” continued Ian. “Actually if you’d asked me which DJ is most like any bumbling idiot I’d have probably said Tiësto. Unless you asked me which DJ is most like Boris Johnson, that’s definitely Hodor out of Game of Thrones.”
According to reports, ninety nine percent of people asked, thought that Tiësto and Mr Bean were the same person, with many assuming the TV personality had taken up DJing as a result of his fame.