San Antonio Council in Ibiza have this morning claimed they are still receiving ‘dozens of calls’ each night from locals complaining about the loud noises coming from the popular West End strip despite the Island still being almost completely on lockdown.
The council have cracked down on the bars and restaurants in the area in recent years, citing noise complaints from locals and ugly brits as two of the main reasons for the harsh clampdown.
“The council fitted our bar with a decibel meter back in 2017,” says John O’ Connell, owner of the ‘Lets Get Fucked & Pump Slags’ disco bar near the bottom of the strip.
“Anytime we went over 70 dB the meter would sense it and cut the music, which meant if a customer farted or somebody did a ‘cheers’ with another customer, the music would immediately cut out and a little prick in a suit would show up and piss on my leg while writing me out an official fine.”
“As the complaints rolled in more frequently from locals, the dB level was lowered further and further. Eventually, it was so low that even the sound of the guy from the council pissing on me would set the meter off, and I was literally getting fined for being pissed on too loud.”
“This year the island is on complete lockdown. The bars aren’t open, the takeaways aren’t open, and nobody is allowed to leave their house at night. But it’s still too loud. I’m still being fined every few minutes by the council and I’m literally swimming in the stench of bureaucratic urine while making no income whatsoever. So pretty much the same as last year.”
“At least this year there won’t be any tourists this year, that should keep the council happy.”