Ibiza Worker Spends 54 Days In Bed After Returning To UK

An Ibiza worker is reportedly nearly ready to get up after spending fifty-four days in bed following her return to the UK.

Kirsty Tompkins, a twenty-six-year-old shot girl, has reportedly text her mum and asked her to make a cup of tea and some breakfast as she will be down “any minute now”.

“That’s the best sleep I’ve ever had,” Kirsty told us from her bed. “Do you ever have one of those sleeps where it only feels like you’ve only been asleep for five minutes but then you check your watch and you’ve actually been asleep for a month and a half, it was proper one of those.”

“I’ve got me mam to put a bacon butty and cuppa on for me so as soon as that’s ready I’ll head down but there’s no way I’m getting out of my PJs for at least another week,” continued Kirsty. “Then, I’ll have to try and get a job so I can start saving for Christmas. This is the last time I put my body through this ordeal, there’s no way I’m going back next year.”

According to Kirsty’s mum, she wasn’t expecting her daughter to wake for another week or two after she slept for a staggering seventy-eight days upon returning from her first season in Ibiza.

“I can’t believe she’s awake and it’s not even December yet,” claimed Mrs Tompkins. “This is a record for her, she must have taken better care of herself over there this year.”

“I still remember the first time she came home, we actually thought she was dead, it was only when we got the doctor round that we found out she was just sleeping,” continued the mother of three. “It turned out she was in deep hibernation and she’d actually slowed her heart rate down so much that we couldn’t feel it, I didn’t even know humans could do that.”

According to reports, Kirsty has already changed her mind about next summer and has booked a one way flight to Ibiza, where she will spend one last season, for the fifth time.