In completely unsurprising news from the dance music industry, it is now exactly eight thousand days since DJ Sneak was relevant.
The news broke early this morning after a blogger, with lots of time on his hands, revealed that DJ Sneak has done absolutely nothing interesting or noteworthy since sometime in March 1995.
Wunderground caught up with the blogger earlier today, “DJ Sneak is a funny old character,” he told us. “He’s always just kind of been there, playing some pretty big gigs and acting like he’s a big and important part of the scene he’s in, but ask yourself these questions; what exactly is DJ Sneak known for and why is he relevant in today’s music industry?”
“The answers are; nobody really knows and he’s not,” revealed the unnamed blogger. “All that Sneak is known for these days is shooting his mouth off and offending the people who now drive the industry forward. Most of Sneak’s actual fans have totally forgotten what clubbing is, live in middle America and spend more time deciding what slippers to buy than they do listening to house music.”
“We appreciate what he’s done, but it’s eight thousand days later and, apart from the BBQs he’s become really famous for, he hasn’t really brought anything to the table since,” continued the blogger. “The interesting thing about all of this is that in March 1995 DJ Sneak was still working as a clerk in a record shop so the last time he was relevant was before his career even began. I’m not sure what it was he did but it was most likely a record that he sold to some other up and coming DJ that helped them get their big break.”
Experts are predicting that DJ Sneak could be due a return to relevance and are earmarking the day he announces his retirement as the next time people in the industry actually care about what he does.