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July 2, 2018
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Japanese Club To Replace Sound System With 1,500 iPhones

A Japanese nightclub has announced plans to replace its sound system with a wall of one thousand five hundred used iPhones.

The Tokyo venue, which is famous for its distinct lack of atmosphere, is hoping to “breathe new life” into its dancefloor with the ostentatious installation. 

Harry Nakamoto, the club’s creative director, claimed that the iPhones will mark the “beginning of the nightclub’s next chapter” and bring “great honour” to its owners.

“We are very happy to announce our plans to replace our sound system with a full wall of used iPhones,” Nakamoto told Wunderground. “It will be made up of all sorts of models and colours which will all be in good working order and fully functional.”

“When you combine the wattage of all of the phones‘ speakers, it’s actually quite a powerful sound system,” continued Nakamoto. “And it should, just about, be weird and unusual enough to get a few people through the door and onto our dancefloor.”

“We’ve been trying to come up with a way to trick people into the club for years now,” admitted the nightclub employee. “We tried inflatable toilets, robot bartenders, a slippy-slide dance floor, topless Tuesdays and even psytrance but none of them worked, but now, we’re hoping the iPhone wall will be just gimmicky enough to draw a crowd.”

“The real beauty of it is that the screens on the iPhones will be facing the crowd and connected to the club’s wifi so people be able to browse the internet and update their social media directly from the dancefloor, if the interaction is good, we may even get rid of the DJ and let the clubbers pick their own music.”

In related news, DJs are being encouraged to dress up as mobile phones during their sets in an attempt to get the crowd to pay attention to them.

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