In a worrying turn of events, a leading environmentalist has claimed that the “jungle is no longer massive”.
Speaking at a recent summit about the reduction in jungle size, Rebel MC, a.k.a. Congo Natty, revealed the jungle is shrinking at an alarming rate and is only half the size it was twenty years ago.
“The jungle is still fairly big,” Natty told Wunderground earlier. “But it’s definitely not massive anymore. It’s getting smaller and smaller every year because people keep chopping it down and stuff. To be honest with you, I thought the thing I was talking at the other day was about jungle music but it was actually about the real jungle so I’m not really sure if what I’m saying is true.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m well into the environment and all that green stuff, not just weed if that’s what you’re thinking,” he continued. “I always bring my own plastic bags down the shop and I always split my rubbish up for the recycling so I suppose I would like to see the jungles protected and that.”
“But, to tell you the truth, I’d much rather see a bit of a resurgence in the jungle scene,” revealed Rebel MC. “There just isn’t enough junglists around these days, every time someone tries to run a proper old skool jungle vibe we get swamped down with a load of crappy Jump Up dweebs. That’s not jungle, it’s tripe.”
“I don’t think half the people out there even know what real jungle is anymore,” claimed the MC. “Sometimes I just wish I could go back the nineties when A, the actual jungle was massive and B, there was a proper junglist massive. You know what I mean?”
In other environmental news, a major clean operation is in process of the coast of Scotland after a tanker carrying thousands of gallons of liquid drum and bass capsized, more on this as we get it.
