Konstantin Breastfed By Father Because “Women Are Usually Worse At Breastfeeding”


In a rather unsurprising development, Giegling co-founder Konstantin has revealed he was breastfed by his father until he was twelve years old, because “women are usually worse at breastfeeding than men”.

Konstantin, best known for wearing clothes that look like he found them in a dustbin, has been on the receiving end of criticism this week after claiming he believes women are inferior DJs to men.

However, it seems that these views are not exclusive to DJing, we caught up with him earlier, “I really don’t know why people are focusing on what I said about DJs,” claimed a clearly bemused Konstantin. “I think men are better at everything than women, not just DJing, to pick one silly thing like that and say men are superior would be crazy. For me, men’s dominance over women is a far more fundamental and encompassing thing. We just do everything better than them. Simples.”

“For example, I was breastfed by daddykins until I was twelve years old because men are far better at breastfeeding than women,” he continued. “A woman would never be able to hold the weight of a twelve-year-old child for a sustained period long enough to give them a full meal of booby milk, but a man can, it’s not rocket science, it’s just human nature.”

“I suckled on daddykins every day for two or three hours and he would hold me and walk around the house while whispering fairy tales in my ear,” revealed the DJ. “I’m glad he did too because it helped me to grow up into the strong, sensible and rational minded man that I am today, without my his influence I probably would have ended up some kind of weird, hippy liberal.”

Other things Konstantin believe men do better than women include; ruining their careers through their stupid and narrow-minded opinions, devaluing well-established brands and fucking things up for their friends and colleagues.


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Konstantin Breastfed By Father Because “Women Are Usually Worse At Breastfeeding”

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