In breaking news from the internet, Kylie Jenner’s left tit is now believed to be embarking on a career as a DJ.
Jenner’s left tit, not to be confused with the tit that appears on the left-hand side of photos of Jenner which is actually her right tit, is believed to have grown disillusioned with Jenner and the rest of her body.
Wunderground spoke to the tit earlier today, “While I might be a tit, I feel I have a lot more to offer than a regular tit, I’m well educated and have been afforded some fantastic opportunities in my short life so I don’t want to spend the rest of my days being flashed on Instagram to sell all sorts of tacky shit.”
“So, I’ve decided to distance myself from Kylie, Rightie (tit) and the rest of the body to focus on my own career,” explained the tit. “The only problem is, apart from objectification, a tit’s only real purpose is for feeding and I’m not really interested in feeding the world, I’m not Bob Geldof, so I’ve been forced to look throughout the entertainment industry to see what some of the other tits out there are doing.”
“That’s when I noticed how many tits there were in the electronic dance music industry,” revealed the tit, known to the rest of the body as Lefty. “David Guetta, Steve Aoki, Diplo, Deadmau5, Avicii, what’s the one thing they’ve all got in common apart from making shitty music? They’re all total tits. In fact, almost all EDM DJs are tits so I’ve decided to join them.”
Unconfirmed rumours suggest the former number one DJs on DJ Mag’s Top 100, Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike, are actually Jenner’s half-sister Kim Kardashian’s tits, more on this as we get it.
