“I’ve got boneless banquets, zinger burgers and them little pots of beans” said local drug dealer Jimmy ‘Nuggets’ McCarthy when speaking to Wunderground earlier today.
“€100 for a gram but if you buy three grams I’ll throw in the drink for free.”
“Can deliver to anywhere in the area. I’m like a good-looking well-hung Just-Eat with better E’s” boasted McCarthy.
“You know what they say about supply and demand. Supply goes down, demand goes up. Luckily, I’m a fucking dealer. You demand, I supply. Unless my contact is locked up, in which case, fuck ya.”
“Where am I getting the chickens from?”
“Are you fucking Scotland Yard are ya? Would you ask Pablo Escobar where he got his coke from, would you? No. Because A) he’s dead and B) you probably watched Narcos so you know where he got it from, eliminating the need to ask local UK based dealers like myself for the information.”
“So don’t be asking where the chicken comes from. It uses to cluck, that’s all you need to know.”
“Now, do you want salt and ketchup with that?”