“Jada was just fanning my flames when the curtains went on fire” said Will Smith routinely as he spoke to reporters outside his home in California earlier today.
Fire crews were called to the home after the 27th blaze since the 1st of January broke out at the stars lavish home.
The Hollywood star seemed unfazed; “We’re used to this. I’m not mad! You know what I say.. set your life on fire. And seek those who fan your flames.’
“In fact, today is a good day. Okay, I had a few arguments with the firefighters. I thought they were trying to douse my fire, but when Jada explained they were just trying to save our children lives for the 27th time in a row since January, I somewhat understood.”
“It used to be, back in the day, when the house went on fire I used to just call my Scientology brothers and we used to just sit on the lawn and pray to Xenu to come down in his Spaceship and help a brother out.”
“But the house kept burning down every time and we were always on the move, having to re-buy all of our belongings every week, as well as mourning the various pets, friends, nice outfits and family members we lost along the way, so the kids suggested maybe dialing 911.”
“I mean, it’s not very Hollywood, but in fairness to them, they might be pissing on my flames but I haven’t had to replace a new pair of Air Jordan’s in weeks.”