In Scottish news, the enigmatic, mythical beast, the Loch Ness Monster, has been spotted in the equally mysterious Slam Tent.
According to legend, the Slam tent was once a popular destination for “wreck heads and cainers” at the music festival T in the Park but, in recent years, it’s actual location has been extremely hard to find.
Michael O’Neill, who reportedly spotted “Nessy doing bumps of ket in the Slam Tent”, spoke to Wunderground earlier, “I couldn’t believe it mate,” he told us. “I’ve seen Nessy a few times now but I’ve never seen the Slam Tent before, I always thought it was just make believe, like Timbuktu or heaven, somewhere they made up to keep all session heads busy at T in the Park, I can’t believe it’s actually real.”
“What’s even more shocking is it was out my mate Kelly’s back garden,” he continued. “We were just sitting around, having a few quiet Buckfasts, eating a few mushroom and sniffing a lot of ket. At one stage I was feeling particularly spaced out and took myself out the back for a bit of fresh air and a smoke, that’s when I saw the Slam Tent.”
“It was so amazing looking, all big and blue, just like something out of a dream,” claimed O’Neill. “I ran inside of it and it was full of absolute legends. Mel Gibson from Braveheart was there, Limmy was there, Henrik Larsson was there and so was Nessy, it was totally unbelievable. We were all out there doing bumps all night. I stayed with them until I passed out, then, the next morning, I woke up and they were all gone. It was the most magical experience of my life.”
Since going to press, a video has surfaced on social media and revealed that Mr O’Neill actually spent the night taking ketamine and talking to a dog in a bush out the back garden.
