Man Who Hasn’t Been Out In Almost A Week Planning Big Weekend


A man who hasn’t been out in almost a full week is reportedly planning an extra big weekend to make up for lost time.

Graham Mills, who last went out this day last week, claims that after giving up the sesh for five whole nights, he is ready to get his dancing shoes back on.

“I can’t believe I’ve made it this long without breaking,” he proudly told Wunderground. “The last time I went out was when I finished work last Friday, although that rolled over well into Sunday morning, and now, here we are and it’s Friday again and I’m ready to stop behaving myself and paint the town red.”

“I feel like I haven’t seen any of my friends or had a couple of drinks in forever so I reckon it’s going to have to be an extra big weekend this time around,” continued Graham, a twenty-six-year-old carpenter. “I reckon it’ll be straight down the boozer after work, quick trip home for a shower and change of clothes around nine and then back out until Sunday morning, again.”

“I really don’t mind cutting loose and going hell for leather when I go so long in between sessions,” he puzzlingly claimed. “I can easily go three, four or even five nights without going out at all, some of my friends think I’m crazy but I always tell them; all of the nights that I’m off it makes the nights that I’m on it that little bit better.”

According to friends of Mr Mills, the twenty-six-year-old must have the kidneys and liver of a man more than twice his age.

“Graham is some boy for the session,” claimed one close friend. “He never drinks on a weeknight, like the majority of people we know, and he treats that like it’s some kind of achievement and an excuse to go extra hard every weekend. Honestly, I reckon he’s been on it for forty-eight hours straight, every weekend since he turned eighteen. He’s a total legend.”

At the time of going to press, Mr Mills is believed to have “nipped away for a liquid lunch” in an attempt to contain his excitement for the weekend ahead.

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Man Who Hasn’t Been Out In Almost A Week Planning Big Weekend

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