Man Who Had Cocaine Induced Heart Attack Labelled A Lightweight By Mates
A young clubber, who last Monday morning suffered chest pains resulting from a mild, cocaine-induced heart attack, has been labelled a lightweight by his close friends.
David Ulton, 29-year-old experienced clubber and promoter, had been on the lash all weekend “nailing gram lines of ket and double dropping pills” before ordering up a bag of coke on Sunday morning “to keep the session going”.
“It was actually a great weekend, I was able to mask the unhappiness in the core of my self with ecstasy,” explained David’s former friend Alan, “and then, when that wore off and the come down loomed large, I was able to drink and snort my way back to happiness before collapsing sometime Sunday night.”
“That’s how you’re supposed to party, until you’re numb enough to drop off to sleep,” he added. “But David, God rest his party soul, has given all that up after one slightly terrifying heart attack, what a fucking loser.”
“If we all stopped partying the second our ‘health’ was affected then there wouldn’t be a dance music scene,” he continued. “I mean sure I get nose bleeds, pains in my liver and delerium tremens almost every Monday but I’m no lightweight.”