Mel B Now Selling Spice


UNITED KINGDOM - FEBRUARY 24: BRIT AWARDS, EARLS COURT Photo of Melanie BROWN and Mel B and SPICE GIRLS, Melanie Brown (Mel B) performing live on stage (Photo by JMEnternational/Redferns)

Former Spice Girl Mel B has reportedly been caught in possession of an “extremely large quantity” of the illegal drug spice.

According to reports, the discovery was made during a routine police stop on the M62, where it is believed Mel B was transporting the drugs from Manchester to her hometown Leeds.

“We can confirm that approximately two kilos of spice were recovered from a car traveling east on the M62 this afternoon,” claimed Constable Brian Willis of the West Yorkshire Police Traffic Unit. “We believe the drugs were destined to end up on the streets of Leeds and we’re looking at this as a major blow to the city’s illicit drugs trade.”

Reports suggest that Mel B, best known for starring in Channel 4’s Bo’ Selecta!, turned to drug dealing after her sixth failed attempt at a solo music career.

“Everyone knows Mel’s been selling gear for the last few years,” claimed Geri Halliwell, formerly known as Ginger Spice and now working as a docker Grimsby Port. “The Spice Girls were a bike, I was the saddle, Posh and Mel B were the wheels, Emma was the frame and Mel C was the handlebars, together we were brilliant and able to go anywhere but separate we’re all just pieces of useless rubbish, fit for the dump.”

“It took Mel a while to realise that and by the time she did her looks were gone and she wasn’t Scary spice anymore, she was just scary,” continued Halliwell. “That’s why she got into selling spice, to try and get that little bit of spice back into her life.”

“I feel terrible for her now that she’s got caught. I tried to convince her to come and work with me, she would have made a great docker, but she just wasn’t interested. Hopefully, she’ll get off with a warning.”

Lloyd Daly, an anti-drug activist, has claimed that spice is the worst thing to happen to British society since the Spice Girls released their debut single in 1996.

“I hope they throw the book at Mel B,” he told us. “Spice is destroying an entire generation in this country, even more so than the Spice Girls’ music, and people need to be held accountable for it.”

While it is not yet clear what the outcome will be for Mel B, one thing that is certain is that she will almost certainly be asked to take part in I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here off the back of this publicity.

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Mel B Now Selling Spice

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