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Music Producer Getting All His Daily Nutrients From Coffee & Fags

Music Producer Getting All His Daily Nutrients From Coffee & Fags

An electronic music producer who spends up to eighteen hours at a time in the studio has revealed that he gets all of his nutrients from coffee and fags.

Angelo Prost, a twenty-seven-year-old Parisian, claims that when he is in the zone he can go for days on end without eating, sleeping or going outside.

“Food is for the weak,” Prost told Wunderground with a level of arrogance that only a French music producer can create. “I can eat once a week and my body is perfectly capable of providing me with everything I need once I top up with cigarettes and coffee regularly.”

“Not a lot of people know this, and I really shouldn’t be sharing my secrets but, a finely tuned body, such as mine, can get all of the nutrients it needs from caffeine and tobacco,” continued the man who had the frame of a seven-year-old boy. “Hunger is all in the mind, if you can control that, you will never be hungry again.”

“It’s clearly working for me too,” claimed the producer. “I’ve only been making music for nine years and I’ve already had three tracks signed, and one of them made it all the way to ninety-sixth on the Beatport tech house new releases chart.”

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Dr Ita Twix, of the Bournemouth Food Research Clinic, believes that Mr Prost’s theory is a “load of bollox” and he is more than likely extremely unhealthy.

“The man is very likely suffering from extreme vitamin deficiencies,” Twix told us earlier. “I’d say he’s about as healthy as a raver’s bank balance on a Monday morning and likely to suffer from some serious medical issues in the very near future.”

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