Just hours after his release from prison, America’s favourite knife crime enthusiast, OJ Simpson, has revealed that he is set to become a house resident at one of Los Angeles’s most popular nightclubs.
Simpson, who lists Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me and Soup Dragons’ I’m Free as his two favourite tracks, is believed to have learned how to DJ while serving his sentence in Nevada’s Lovelock Correctional Center as part of the CDJs for Cons program, which teaches felons how to DJ in an attempt to help them reintegrate into society upon their release.
According to Lovelock’s warden, Miles Smith, Simpson performed so well on the CDJs for Cons program that they decided to release him early so that the public could get the chance to see him play.
“OJ was a complete natural on the decks,” Smith explained earlier. “I have no doubt that if OJ had been born thirty or forty years later he probably would have ended up being a DJ instead of a football player. To keep someone with a talent like that locked up would have been a crime against humanity so we decided to speed up the parole process and get him out a little early.”
While the club where Simpson will play has yet to be revealed, rumours suggest it could be Rage, LA’s premier gay club.
“It makes perfect sense for OJ to play at rage,” claimed Khloe Kardashian, who ironically owes her fame and fortune to Simpson’s rage. “Unless prison has really changed him, OJ is definitely straight so the less hot, young, available women in the club, the less likely OJ will be to get himself into any more trouble.”
Simpson has yet to comment on his new house residency, although, sources close to the recently released convict have revealed that he is very excited about his new role and is planning on “killing it” at his first gig.