“Pressing Play Is Just Easier” Admits David Guetta

French superstar DJ David Guetta shocked the dance music world today when he finally admitted to the rumours that have dogged his career by stating in an interview that “pressing play is just easier”.

“Sometimes it’s difficult and tiring to mix live after arduously jetting from exotic city to city in opulent comfort,” admitted Guetta. “So, for a treat, sometimes it’s nice to just press play on a mix that I prepared earlier because it gives me some time to unwind after a tiring day of expensive food, Thai massages and sleeping on a bed of banknotes.”

“Some audience act like you owe them a good time,” continued Guetta. “They complain and think you’re ripping them off by not mixing, but I’d like to see one of them come up here and mix two tracks while their hair is in the way and they’ve only had two naps that day. Then they’d see what I go through.”

Mr. Guetta admitted that he doesn’t press play all of the time during his sets and only does it after exceptionally “busy days of posing for photos or sharing a room with Will.I.Am” or “when [he’s] in America, where they don’t seem to mind as much”.

“I don’t mind that he just presses play,” admitted self confessed Guetta-nut New Yorker, Corey Adams. “You’re still getting to see a real life famous celebrity who is famous and a celebrity, and you’ll even get to hear songs that you recognise from your car.”

“I think if he was DJing live that I’d find it distracting that he wasn’t interacting with the crowd or that I’d be worried that maybe he’ll screw up,” added Corey. “So for safety reasons I think mixing live is probably more dangerous. The two tracks could go out of sync or stop for like a second.”

Guetta echoed Corey’s sentiments and insisted that he was there to put on a show and not to mix live. “Sometimes it won’t even be me pressing play, I’ll get a sound tech to do it so that I don’t press the wrong thing or break it. The people are here to see me twiddle knobs and faders with dramatic flair, throw my hands in the air and jump up and down.”

“They can’t see me do all that if I have to be hunched over concentrating on mixing,” concluded Guetta. “The fans have paid a lot of money to come see me perform and so I press play because I respect them too damn much to deprive them of that.”