Pringles have announced they are to add a brand new heroin flavour to their delicious range of potato chips, which they claim will be their “most delicious and irresistible flavour yet”.
Sammy Crinklecut, a spokesperson for the Pringles company, claimed the new flavour is a “total game changer” and is set to “revolutionise the snack industry”.
“Believe me, you’ve never tasted anything quite like the new heroin flavoured Pringles before,” Crinklecut told Wunderground yesterday. “We always try to make the experience of eating Pringles a unique and enjoyable experience and we’ve really gone the extra mile to ensure that you won’t find anything even remotely like our new flavour with any of our competitors.”
“We went all way to the poppy fields of Afghanistan to source the finest opium to ensure we get that memorable smokey heroin flavour just right,” continued Crinklecut. “These chips taste so good that as soon you taste them you’ll be hooked. It’s like our slogan says ‘once you pop you just can’t stop’.”
“But, our piste de resistance is that eating these chips will actually help you to lose weight” claimed Crinklecut. “The new recipe is a natural appetite suppressant, if you eat a tube of these bad boys first thing in the morning you’ll get all the nutrients you need to barely survive and you won’t want to eat anything else for the rest of the day, you may eventually need to eat two, three or even four tubes a day but, as you do, you’ll literally be able to watch the weight fall off.”
According to reports, Pringles are offering any new customer their first tube or heroin flavoured potato chips completely free of charge, with the recommended retail price set at £20 per tube thereafter.
