Producer Compresses Beat So Much It Disappears

An Australian producer has reportedly compressed a beat so much that it completely disappeared.

Barry Jones, a.k.a. DJ BJ, claims to have “looked everywhere” for the beat but his search has so far been unsuccessful.

“I really like to make my beats pop by compressing the absolute shit out of them,” Jones told us yesterday. “I’ve been really pushing myself with my music recently so I decided to see exactly how much I could compress a beat, I’d been working on it for about six months and when I lost it, it was about one fiftieth its original size.”

“It was just getting to the way I wanted it to sound and then all of a sudden it just vanished straight off my computer,” confirmed the producer. “It’s just gone, without a trace, I can’t even get the old version of it from the last time I saved it, it’s proper disappeared like a baby in a pack of dingos.”

“I’ve been searching everywhere for the cunting thing but there’s no sign of it anywhere, it’s almost like it never even existed in the first place,” he said confusedly. “I’m hoping that it shows up eventually but I’m not holding too much hope, maybe it’ll be in the last place I think to look but at the moment I don’t really know where that is.”

According to an audio expert, over-compressing beats could lead to catastrophic levels of shit music.

“Well, I can’t say for definite because I’ve never heard this guy’s music, but, compressing beats to the point where they disappear is a definite sign that his music is shit,” explained the expert. “That, and the fact that he’s Australian, nothing good has ever come out of that kip.”