No, there is no need to adjust your screens, you are reading this correctly. We, the writing team at Wunderground, are letting the general public come and punch us repeatedly in the face this weekend.
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Why you may ask? Well, the answer is simple.
Desperation.
Complete and utter desperation.
Let’s call a spade a spade. We’ve been booked to host a Wunderground Summer Takeover at McQueen in Shoreditch this Saturday. It’s a really cool venue, and it’s in Shoreditch so it’ll be full of “really cool people” and, quite frankly, we’re terrified.
You see, deep down, each and every Wunderground writer is a piece of shit. A huge steaming pile of semi-literate turd, and we know it. It’s why we feel the need to take aim at the world, it’s all about validating ourselves. When we call Steve Aoki a cunt or say that David Guetta was one sperm too far, we make ourselves feel like big men. Sitting in the office flexing our puny little muscles while hiding behind giant keyboards. We’re a giant bag of smelly cunts and we are well aware of it.
And so we honestly don’t think we are good enough to fill the place. It’s a self-esteem issue I suppose, too much country music as a child or something. “Why would you want to come and see little old us get drunk in a DJ booth?” etc etc.
On the other hand, we know there are squadrons of people dying to pop our snot, aka, punch the heads off us. Hipsters are pissed off, EDM DJ’s are pissed off, some Techno DJ’s are pissed off, even some house DJ’s are pissed off. Promoters are pissed off. Shufflers are pissed off. And Paris Hilton? Well, she isn’t happy either. Even a ton of bedroom DJ’s are pissed off, but until they decide to leave the house they don’t pose much threat.
And so with all these people thirsty for Wunderground blood, we figure we’ll use it to our advantage!
So, come to McQueen this Saturday night for the Wunderground Summer Takeover and we promise we’ll stand there and let you box the heads off us from open till close, we won’t say a word. We swear. Just click going on this facebook event and we (might) see you there.
Yours forever,
Bag of smelly cunts x
