Slightly Strange

Rolling Joints To Be Competitive Sport By 2023

America’s leading sports authority, ASS, has announced that rolling joints will become a competitive sport by the year 2023.

ASS, or American Sports Society, made the announcement after a number of underground rolling clubs applied for professional licenses earlier this year.

“There has been underground competitive rolling happening in America for hundreds of years now,” explained Peter Dingle, a spokesperson for ASS. “Some say it was brought to these shores by Irish emigrants who used to roll massive spliffs to fight off the local insects, while others believe it was part of a Native American male rites of passage ceremony with the spliff representing the male penis.”

“Wherever it came from, it’s now a massive part of American stoner culture and, with the softening of prohibition laws against weed, it’s now more popular than ever,” continued Dingle. “We’re seeing competitive rolling clubs popping up all over the country and there are a number of tournaments where clubs can win some pretty impressive cash prizes.”

“With the current rate of growth in the industry and the money being invested into it by pot friendly businesses, we expect to have a fully professional competitive sport by the year 2023,” claimed Dingle. “It’ll give a whole new meaning to the Super Bowl.”

Chad Hodgkins, Colorado’s fifth ranked roller, also spoke to Wunderground, “It’s about time us stoners were given a sport,” he said. “Drunks have had darts and pool for years so it’s nice to be given the same recognition as them. It’s the perfect sport for us, we don’t even have to stand up and we get to get stoned at the end of each game.”

According to reports, California based rapper Snoop Dogg is currently America’s number one ranked roller, a title he has held since 1994, shortly after his first album, Doggystyle, was released.

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