Scientists from a leading American university claim to have discovered “the EDM gene” in what is being hailed as one of the “most significant biological breakthroughs” of the last fifty years.
Researchers at Harvard’s Biology School claim to have accidentally discovered the gene while carrying out research on a colony of Australian pygmy long-eared bats.
Wunderground spoke to Professor Imelda Beatty earlier today, “The Australian pygmy long-eared bats really are remarkable creatures,” she told us. “Their ears are up there with the most sensitive in the animal kingdom and we’ve been doing intensive research to try and get a better understanding of exactly what it is they can hear.”
“During one of our lab sessions, a freshman student was listening to an EDM mix on his headphones,” explained the Beatty. “I know what you’re thinking, why is a student in Harvard listening to EDM, right? The truth is he was very young and hasn’t actually discovered real music yet, I’m sure he’ll eventually figure out how pathetically shit it is.”
“But anyway, as I was saying, while the student was listening to his headphones, we noticed all the bats starting moving in sync,” she continued. “After a number of experiments, involving turning the music on and off, we realised that the bats could actually hear the music and the moving, or dancing, was completely involuntary, it was an instinct.”
“Following more extensive research we isolated a mutation in the bats’ DNA,” claimed the professor. “We’ve also found similar mutations in the DNA of quite a lot of EDM fans and DJs, it turns out that they’re not stupid after all, they’re just mutants.”
According to experts, seventy-five percent of EDM DJs have the EDM gene, while the other twenty-five percent are just sellouts.