The Vatican are reportedly on red alert this morning after claims that the Virgin Mary appeared in DC10 at the Circoloco opening party in Ibiza surfaced this morning.
Up to thirty people claimed to have seen the Virgin Mary in the club prompting Pope Francis to activate the Vatican’s Ghost Recon Team early this morning.
Wunderground spoke to Michael, a twenty-five-year-old shuffler from Essex, “I fucking love DC mate, I come over every year for the opening parties and get proper ketty on the dance floor,” he told us. “This is probably my fifth year in a row at Circoloco and it was definitely the best, if not the weirdest, one yet.”
“I had just watched Jamie Jones playing an absolutely banging set, I was in the middle of letting the Ket wear off so I could go for a bit of a shuffle when I saw the Virgin Mary appear at the bar,” continued Michael. “It were definitely her, she had this glow to her, like a real life Snapchat filter, and you could totally tell she was holy.”
“I was kinda surprised to see her ordering Jager bombs though,” he revealed. “I would have thought she’d just order water and turn it into wine, that’s what I would’ve done anyway, the drink’s so bloody expensive in there. We were following her around all night hoping for a miracle but it never happened, she did go home with some bloke though, I doubt she was still the Virgin Mary the next morning, you get me?”
Vatican sources have confirmed that sightings of Our Lady are a regular occurrence in Ibiza every summer and Cardinals often spend up to two weeks at a time investigating them.
“We get reports of Maggie popping up somewhere or other about once or twice a week,” claimed Cardinal Billy O’Reilly. “Myself and all the lads take it in turns turns to go over to look for her, while we’re there we have a bit of a holiday too, a priest’s collar gets you guest list and VIP area access to every club on the island.”