Solardo Prepare For WW3 By Burying 712 Shit Shirts In Bunker With Bluetooth Speaker & Some Ket


English tech house duo Solardo have reportedly been preparing for the potential outbreak of World War 3 by building a self-contained bunker and stocking it with 712 shit shirts, a Bluetooth speaker and some ket.

Sources close to the duo claim the DJs are “keeping schtum” about the bunker’s location but have promised their closest friends that it will host “the best World War 3 after party on the planet” should the time come to use it.

“James and Mark are really freaked out about the possibility of war breaking out and having to go into hiding in a bunker,” claimed one member of the duo’s management. “They watched a few episodes of Doomsday Preppers on the comedown a few months ago and it really hit a nerve with them. Ever since, they’ve been flat out getting prepared for World War 3.”

“Honestly, they’ve built a bunker and everything,” continued our source. “It’s actually pretty nice, they have it kitted out with a few bean bags, a decent Bluetooth speaker and 712 shit shirts, that’s a full year’s worth of shirts each, so they’re hoping that by wearing each shirt for five consecutive days, they’ll have enough shirts to last them for five full years.”

“They’re planning on getting a load of ket for it too but every time they go out and buy it, they just end up sniffing it, the little rascals,” he told us. “So, they’ve decided that all profits from their new single, Be Somebody, will go towards filling the bunker with ket, it’s a bit of a banger if I’m being honest with you so they’re hoping to get a couple of tons in, minimum.”

James Elliot, one half of the Mancunian duo, believes that moving into the bunker is a natural part of the act’s evolution and will see them becoming the “biggest underground artists in the world”.

“Everyone always say things like ‘you lads need to go deeper’ or ‘you should be more underground’ so we’ve buried our bunker fifty feet below sea level, that’s pretty much as deep and underground as you can get,” James revealed. “I can’t wait for this fucking war to start, that bunker’s gonna go off!”

Early reports suggest that guestlist for Solardo’s bunker is already closed and there are currently no sets available for any other DJs, no matter how many times they ask.

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Solardo Prepare For WW3 By Burying 712 Shit Shirts In Bunker With Bluetooth Speaker & Some Ket

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