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June 23, 2017
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Torrential Rain Gets Last Minute Ticket For Glastonbury

Torrential rain is celebrating this afternoon after getting its hands on a last minute ticket for Glastonbury Festival.

Torrential rain has been at almost every Glastonbury since it began in the 1970s and, until today, had thought it would miss out on this year’s festival.

“I’m literally feeling high as the clouds after getting my hands on this ticket,” Torrential Rain told Wunderground earlier today. “If there’s one thing I try not to miss every year it’s Glastonbury and up until today, I thought I wasn’t going to make it but, thankfully, I’ve got friends in pretty high places and I was able to get one.”

“I’m sure everyone will be delighted to see me. Is it really even Glastonbury if Torrential Rain doesn’t show up?” continued the form of precipitation. “I certainly don’t think so. I’m not as organised as I usually would be and I probably won’t get down there until Friday or maybe even Saturday but, once I get there, I’ll be absolutely lashing into it.”

According to Mud, Torrential Rain’s best mate, the festival is going to be ten times better now that it has a ticket.

“I’m absolutely delighted he managed to get himself a ticket,” Mud told us. “I’ve had mine for months now but I always go with Torrential Rain and I was considering not going at all if it wasn’t going to be there. Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about that anymore and now I can just concentrate on getting down there and absolutely wrecking the place. This is going to be a mad one, things always get really messy when the two of us are together.”

Sources close to Torrential Rain have confirmed that its siblings, Thunder and Lightning, didn’t manage to get tickets but may try to “jump the fence” at some stage over the weekend.

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