A trance fan who attended a trans club night at the weekend was left confused and wondering why “all the blokes were dressed as birds.
Martin Downes, a thirty-six-year-old plumber, claims to have left the nightclub early after a close encounter with a “very convincing transvestite”.
“It was a bit of a let down if I’m being perfectly honest,” Martin told Wunderground during a chat earlier today. “I don’t really get the chance to go out much since ,my kids ruined my life and I heard these lads talking about the first big trans event of the year on the bus the other day so I thought I’d pop along and see what the scene is like these days.”
“Straight away I knew something wasn’t right but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it,” continued Martin. “It’s been a good few years since I’ve been to a big club night so at first I was thinking that maybe I’m just a little bit out of touch, the music didn’t really seem like trance to me, in fact, it kind of sounded like Kylie Minogue or Lady Gaga but I didn’t want to embarrass myself so I just got on with it and started giving it the welly on the dancefloor.”
“Then I noticed that there seemed to be a lot more birds than fellas there, if you’ve ever been to a trance night you’ll know that that never happens but I was pretty happy, you can never have too many birds in a nightclub.” he said with a smile. “I noticed this bird who looked really fit from behind and there were no blokes about so I went up to have a dance with her, I put my hands on her hips and straight away she started to grind on me, I thought I was in there and that it was going to be a great night.”
“Then, she turned around and I saw that she wasn’t a bird after all, neither were any of her mates,” revealed the shocked plumber. “I looked around the room, none of the birds were birds, they were all blokes. I’m a pretty open minded guy but that was a bit too much for me, I’d been dancing with a bloke, I had to leave.”
According to reports, Mr Downes felt compelled to visit a local brothel on his way home from the nightclub, claiming there was no way he could go home to his wife after having his friends all over a dude.
