WARNING: Evil Batch Of Ecstasy Contains Print Of Hitler’s Face

Police have today issued a warning for people to be on the lookout for an especially potent batch of ecstasy tablets which feature an imprint of former Nazi leader Hitler’s face on them.

The pills, called “one ballers, swastikas or Adolfs”, are believed to have originated somewhere in Eastern Europe and are now said to be sweeping across the European continent in much the same way that Nazi forces swept aside continental opposition at the start of the second world war.

“The pills come in a variety of cheerful colours to denote the all encompassing and inclusive nature of fascist dogma and feature a picture of Hitler on one side with a swastika on the reverse,” described police spokeswoman Anne Candid. “They’re said to be exceptionally strong with one commentator suggesting that they’ll leave the weak willed children of democracy quivering with fear.”

Symptoms from the pills include “goose step dancing, side parted hair, a profound distaste for the Jewish race and megalomaniacal plans of world domination” claimed Ms. Candid before indicating that the music preferred by people under the influence of an Adolf is mostly “the sort of evil industrial techno that could will a generation to build an autobahn or invade Poland”.

Manufacturers of the pills said that they were tired of trying to indicate the quality of the ecstasy based on abstract imprinted logos like Mitsubishi, McDonald’s and crowns and decided instead to appropriate the profile of the 20th century’s most efficient monster to highlight the unflinching power of the pills.

“Those Hitler’s are fucking sick bad bro,” confirmed one user. “The minute I nailed one I felt a rush of almost murderous energy and was throwing my hands into the air, well my right hand into the air repeatedly and fighting an uncontrollable urge in my jaw to hail God or some other despotic father figure.”

Police fear that the popularity of the pills will lead to an influx of murderous dictator based ecstasy tablets with reports circulating throughout the world of pills featuring imprints of evil faces like Stalin, Chairman Mao, Mother Theresa and Tony Blair.

“The Blair’s are supposed to be the worse,” concluded Ms. Candid. “You don’t know they’re going to be nasty until after you’ve swallowed them.”