According to the latest research, watching drug documentaries on Netflix increases you’re likeliness of “getting on the bag” by up to one hundred percent.
A recent influx of documentaries and docudramas about the illicit drug trade on the online media service provider has led to the demand for cocaine in suburbia reaching an all-time high.
Sociologist James White claims that recreational drug use amongst Netflix users who had watched an episode of either Narcos or Drug Lords was at least fifty times higher than with those who had watched non-drug-related TV shows.
“We’re seeing huge amounts of sporadic drug purchases with people who have been watching any of the drug-themed shows on Netflix,” White explained earlier. “Binge watching a box set of a show about the drug trade can often lead to consumers binging on cocaine directly afterward.”
“Three or four hours in front of a television can quite easily lead to a two or three-day session,” continued White. “In some cases, we’ve even seen cocaine dealers offering their customers free Netflix subscriptions in the hope they’ll watch some drug documentaries and get on the bag. Just one decent binge could cover an entire year’s subscription so it’s really smart business from the dealers.”
Steven Garfield, a Netflix account holder, believes that Netflix are using some sort of subliminal messaging that is forcing him to take drugs.
“I’m fucking telling you man, Netflix are getting into our heads and making us all go out and buy drugs,” claimed Garfield. “I don’t know how they’re doing it, but there’s something about watching a show that glamorises drug use, that really makes me want to take drugs.”
“I’ve a feeling the whole thing is run with cartel money, either that or the Illuminati, which is basically just the same thing.”
In related news, watching videos of food preparation on the internet is now more popular than eating food, more on this as we get it.
