News emerging from Portugal this afternoon suggests that a large group of White Walkers could be wandering the countryside near the country’s Atlantic Coast.
According to Wunderground sources, the White Walkers were first spotted leaving a rave at Festival Forte, held in the eleventh century Castle of MONTEMOR-O-VELHO, late in August.
Eyewitnesses claimed to see a number of “zombie-like” creatures leaving the venue at approximately seven o’clock in the morning.
“They were walking really slowly, dragging their limbs, like they were dead or had been up all night dancing or something,” explained a concerned onlooker. “They all had this totally blank and vacant expression on their faces and none of them was talking to each other. They had to be White Walkers, there’s just no other explanation.”
Game of Thrones expert and incest enthusiast Rob Kardashian claims that the likelihood of White Walkers appearing in Portugal is extremely unlikely.
“I really can’t imagine there being White Walkers all the way over in Portugalland,” claimed Kardashian earlier. “That’s all the way over in Europe and I watch Game of Thrones here on TV in Los Angeles. So, how the hell are they going to get all the way over there? It’ not like they give them passports, they’ve been dead for hundred of years.”
“Although I suppose they could have ridden all the way over there on a dragon and it is September so, technically, winter is coming,” he continued. “Stranger things have happened, like me and my pack of dog sisters becoming famous despite having no talent or even any likeable qualities.”
Portuguese authorities are warning people to stay away from White Walkers unless they are carrying alcohol and walking towards an after party.