Every teenager’s favourite tipple, WKD, has announced they are to release a brand new flavour that turns your piss glitterey.
Adding to a range of flavours including, Blue, Red and Orange, the latest beverage, provisionally named Rainbow, is set to hit the shelves in time for Halloween, one of the year’s busiest nights for underage drinking.
“Glitter is very popular at the moment,” claimed a spokesperson for WKD. “This summer, in particular, we’ve seen a massive increase in stuff like glitter tits and glitter bums at festival, some lads are even getting in on the action with glitter bollox but, unfortunately, most of our customers are too young to go to festivals, so, we’ve come up with glitter piss to help them get on the bandwagon.”
“We’re launching in time for Halloween but our main target is to have this product firmly in every fourteen to seventeen year old’s thoughts by next summer,” continued the WKD spokesperson. “The summer holidays are always a really big time of year for alcopops and we’re hoping that the new flavour will help cement WKD’s place at the very top of the food chain.”
Ian Winston, a fifteen-year-old chav, claims he will “defo” be drinking the new flavour WKD when it arrives in shops but admitted he is wary of the glitter in his piss.
“It sounds cool and it’ll be really funny to see my piss with glitter in it,” Winston told Wunderground. “But I have a couple of worries about it. First of all, I tend to dribble when I pee and I’m scared that I’ll have glitter all down my trackies and people will know I’ve pissed myself. Secondly, won’t the glitter clog my dick-hole? The last thing I want is to be walking around with a blocked cock. Fuck that.”
According to the WKD spokesperson, the piss glitter will be one hundred percent biodegradable, totally environmentally friendly and guaranteed to make your piss sparkle.