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November 8, 2018
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Young DJ Drowns After Trying To Use Sink

A young DJ has reportedly drowned after getting into difficulties while attempting to use the sink.

Reports suggest that Adam Swanson, twenty-two, was confused as to how to incorporate the “sink function” into his mixing before submerging his entire face in four centimeters of water and eventually drowning.

Records show that this is the fifth sync-sink mishap to take place in the UK this week and the fiftieth drowning this year.

Ian Holmes, of the Water Safety Authority, spoke to Wunderground earlier, “Did you know that over four hundred people drown in the UK every single year, and of that four hundred people, one-eighth of them are DJs? Even though almost everyone is a DJ these days, that’s still quite a shocking statistic.”

“Nearly all of the DJs who’ve drowned have been involved in some sort of a sync mixup, which proves two things, some DJs are incredibly stupid and using the sync button is completely wrong.”

According to Barry Ferguson, of the International Association of DJs, or I A DJ as it’s more commonly known, using sync is just one of the many dangers involved with being a modern DJ.

“It’s just part of the job,” Ferguson claimed. “If a couple of thousand DJs die every year to make millions of people all over the world happy for a few hours every weekend, then it’s a small price to pay. The DJs know what they’re signing up for and if the actually learned how to spell we could almost completely eradicate DJ drowning overnight.”

“But we know they’re never going to learn how to spell, so we’re trying to educate them on how to be stupid in a way that is safe and clever. Like wearing a snorkel when they learn to mix and remembering what side of the road traffic drives on in the countries where they play gigs. It’s going to be a long process, but we’ll get there eventually”

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