A study carried out by London South Bank University’s Sociology Department has revealed that one in four people taking up DJing run the risk of becoming an absolute cunt.
The news comes at a worrying time after a record amount of DJ equipment was sold in the English capital over the Christmas period, with some experts saying that as much as ten percent of London’s population, a whopping eight hundred thousand people, could become cunts through DJing by the year 2017.
Professor Anne Onimous spoke to Wunderground about the study’s findings, “We’ve been following the careers of one hundred up and coming DJs in London over the past two years. They’ve had varying degrees of success and the majority of them are now playing gigs in the city’s bars and clubs.”
“The study was originally set up to find out how difficult it was for DJs to find work in a flourishing underground scene but when we noticed the trend of nice guys becoming absolute cunts for no apparent reason we shifted our focus,” explained the professor. “The results were shocking to say the least.”
“One in four people showed increased levels of arrogance, deceitfulness, belligerence, over-confidence and self-involvement,” she claimed. “So basically they became cunts!” she addeded with authority.
“There is no direct link between the levels of success achieved by the DJs and the development of cuntish traits, we’ve seen cunts at both ends of the success spectrum,” commented Anne. “It’s nearly as if some of the people were predestined to become cunts and merely owning and using the equipment was enough to trigger a response in their subconscious, it’s fascinating stuff.”
“If people want to see an example of how the art of DJing has turned someone into a cunt they can look at the career of Calvin Harris,” offered the learned professor. “We all remember the likable, modest, funny young man who broke onto the scene back in 2007. Now look at him, he’s a total cunt.”
“These are really worrying statistics for the city of London, these numbers are just based on cunt DJs, when you add these to the number of regular cunts, politicians and Chelsea fans already in London it’s really shocking, we could be looking at a city with nearly one and a half million cunts in it in coming years,” she apprehensively concluded.
Haha
No way that’s mad by can understand y lol
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Haha now I know Wunderground is a satirical website, but this is too true!
I am surprised it took this long for this highly respectable sophisticated indepth report to come about. Soon after 1990 a lot of self deserving dj raver cunts turned up on the scene.
It took less than three months for my best friend to become a cunt….i blamed him ” sob” …but it was the turntables all along.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151879850911638&set=a.10151879850791638.1073741831.645076637&type=1&theater
Perfect example of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uX7na4HR1M
To be honest with you I’m surprised it’s that low.
WHAT ABOUT THE DJS THARE OLD DRIED UP CUNTS LOL
A great friend ‘Ant the Rant’ wrote this great poem re DJs.http://www.anttherant.com/
Conspiracy of Sound
In teenage bedrooms cross the nation
Comes the beat of desperation
Not some healthy masturbation
Just another budding DJ
He’s got the decks and got the phones
Check his name out DJ Clone
Max the bass til the speakers groan,
Not another DJ
His mates all tell him he’ll go far,
Be a superclubbin superstar,
though he’s only played his local bar,
And been his sister’s wedding DJ
Now millions think that they’re the dogs
Stumbling with a record box
Spreading faster than smallpox
The virus,stylus DJ
And every techno anorak
Is practising to get the knack
The trainspotters have left the tracks
Because it’s cooler being a DJ
Every bar and every pub
Wants to pretend that it’s a club
The Ministry of rub a dub
You can’t escape the DJ
It was the record industry’s salvation
We danced them out of their damnation
Ten commandments on a compilation
The Messiah was a DJ
The smiley face smiles cynically
They stole the spirit and the ecstacy
And sold it back to you and me
And made superstars of DJs
It’s all a conspiracy of sound,
If it’s mixed it must be underground
Every corporation’s Ibiza bound
And the MD is a DJ
The whole world shuffles mindless feet
To the same relentless dance floor beat
Hands in the air, to our defeat
and the commercial cult of DJ
And it must be very sad
When I have to say, we’ve all been had
And I’m talking like my fucking Dad
And even he, wants to be a DJ
link to the study please? I’m from there would be sweet to see this.
It’s a joke
Mind boggling people still think this site post real stories.
Bless you!
What a cunt!
It’s not a joke. There really are a lot of cunts in London.