Tech House DJ Misses Gig After Spending 3 Hours Trying To Decide Which Side To Part His Hair

An up and coming tech-house DJ has spectacularly missed his own set after spending 3 hours trying to decide on which side of his head he’d part his hair.

“I’m gutted,” claimed self proclaimed personal trainer Anthony Curtis, who in his spare time likes to make Youtube exercise videos showing off how his collection of block colour wife beaters accentuate his stupid permatanned body. “I guess I just wanted to get the look right for the show and I just didn’t notice the passing of time. I had taken my watch off earlier that day while I was having my spray tan applied and I suppose I must have forgotten to put it back on.”

Anthony has spoken out against people who have lambasted him for being more concerned with his looks than with DJing to which Anthony replied that “looking cool in a plunging v-neck with a fresh tattoo is what being a tech-house DJ is all about.”

“I wouldn’t have been so late,” explained Anthony, “if it wasn’t for the mirror. I was trying to put my hair to the left but then in the mirror it was going to the right and voices verses (sic). So either the mirror was broke, I can’t tell left from right or I have limited abilities when it comes to spatial reasoning. And you can’t blame that on me missing the set.”

“I initially thought I’d put the hair to the left but I read somewhere that Hitler parted his hair on the left so, as much as I like him as the baddie in all those films, I didn’t really want to have the same hairstyle,” explained Anthony. “I then thought to the right but my mate Johno said that to the right was gay friendly or gay hating so I didn’t know what to do. In the end, after consulting Facebook, horoscopes and my girlfriend, I just decided to slick it back.”

“Well naturally I’m cut up about it,” he continued, “I was really excited to play…I hadn’t got a specific set in mind preferring instead to just bang out a few tracks off the Beatport Top Ten and wing it.”

“The worst thing about it is that I had just gotten a top up on my tan and another piece added to my sleeve tattoo,” he concluded, “which I was really keen to show off.”