A new deep house track has today set the world record for depth of production. Full time diver and part time button pusher Julio Cousteau created the currently untitled track at an unprecedented depth of 37 meters below the ocean’s surface within the confines of a custom built, one-man yellow submarine.
Using the Beatmaker 2 app accompanied by an instruction manual providing a step-by-step guide on how to press play and pause, the middle-aged French scuba diver produced what he predicts to be a genre-defining masterpiece in what he coins Deeper House. “I predict big things for this track once it surfaces” says Cousteau. “Although I worry that the song will lose some of its deepness once it is played above sea-level.”
It is the first time this particular world record has been broken since Disclosure mixed their first song in the depths of their parent’s basement; upon announcement of the broken record the young duo have subsequently expressed their admiration for Julio’s achievement, “It’s a breakthrough for deepness in dance music… a game changer” says Guy from Disclosure. His younger brother also added, “we thought you couldn’t get any deeper than our mum’s basement but Julio Cousteau has shown us that anything is possible and that dance music can retain its title as the most original genre.”
Disclosure are reportedly set to hold talks with Redcar and Cleveland council over the possibility of recording their next album in the Boulby Mines which could see them smash Cousteau’s depth of house production by a whopping 1074 meters.
However Cousteau is racing to stay ahead of the game as he aims to reach the pinnacle genre of Deepest House. “I have spoken to chairman of Virgins Richard Branson and expressed my desire to be on the first public journey to the centre of the earth, for only there can I produce the deepest, purest house known to mankind.”
Meanwhile Ministry of Sound have already begun work on dragging various songs onto an iTunes playlist under the title ‘Deeper House Anthems’ set for commercial release in November of this year.
Derrick Carter was way funnier.