With the news that Facebook is to roll out a new update across the social media site this week a huge percentage of the site’s user base is expect to initially kick up a storm about the updates by posting a status in complaint about the changes before eventually becoming used to the new version, accepting it and getting on with their lives.
“I can’t believe Facebook is changing again,” moaned 6 hour a day habitual Facebook user Liam Dooley. “Every few months they do this, and all it ever does is slightly adjust the useability of the site and make it me take like an hour or two before I get used to it, and at least another extra hour before it’s second nature and I forget what the big deal was in the first place.”
“Relearning whereabouts on the screen the new tabs are sometimes take me 5 maybe even 6 seconds,” continued Liam. “It’s absolute bullshit. It’s like learning how to scroll a cursor and press click all over again, an arduous process which can sometimes use up valuable milliseconds of thinking time.”
Liam says that he’ll probably post some “bitchy comments” to express his utter dissatisfaction at the minor inconvenience, a process which has been described by computer experts as “blowing things out of proportion”, while shouting down anyone who offers the opinion that the new updates are anything less than “a punch in the face of society”.
“I might start a group entitled ‘Bring back the old Facebook,'” concluded Liam. “That’ll really show them.”
Friends of Liam’s told Wunderground that “he always gets like this any time Facebook introduces something new” but that eventually he’ll “get used to it” and realise that a minor adjustment of the layout of the Newsfeed feature on Facebook is not worth “being a whiny bitch about”.
“The ironic thing,” concluded Liam’s friend Sarah,” is that he’ll accept and love this new layout of Facebook to such an extent that next time a new update is rolled out he’ll repeat the whole pointless charade again and again.”
