Miami Winter Music Conference 2015 CANCELLED!

News has emerged today that the planned annual Miami Winter Music Conference has been cancelled for next year due a combination of low attendance figures at this year’s event and complaints from local residences and businesses.

“The Miami beach blue signs are flying at half mast today,” claimed an obviously sad Sandy Shaide from the the WMC organising committee, “due to this year’s pitifully low attendance figures from real DJs we’ve had to cancel next year’s event.”

“Only one DJ attending the event, although the attendance of one DJ,” continued Sandy,” is still a 146% increase over the last two years, it still hasn’t done enough to stop next year’s conference being cancelled.”

Speaking from the “Deep House Old/New?” Debate Space she also said that “although the majority of voyeurs attending were the ‘creme de la creme’ of scene jumpers” that the “presence of money-men talking shop” was still not enough to save the event, before reiterating that “this is the end of an era, there will be no WMC 2015.”

“Gareth Alliance was the only actual DJ attending,” concluded Sandy tearfully, “and he was only here on a spring break with with his college aged girlfriend. Can you believe he wasn’t even aware WMC was on?”

Local residents are said to be happy at the decision with local irate passerby Tiago Spurious claiming, “The amount of USB sticks and SD cards filling the City of Miami’s garbage outlets in the street was disgusting and frankly dangerous. Some child might have found one and become a DJ, which we all know would lead to a life of recreational drug use, alcohol, fun and lots of casual sex.”

“There were always disturbances around the time of WMC,” he continued. “In the early years it was torn t-shirt clad people shouting ‘anybody want disco house, disco house?’ from the foyer of the Fontaine Bleu Hotel like sandwich board wearing evangelists annoyingly ushering in a new age.”

Tiago claimed that the problems also included garbage cans “full of appalling ill conceived 12″ singles that sounded like the whiney drone of a soiled toddler with added cowbell.”

“They’ve been throwing away everything,” continued an irate Tiago. “I’ve lived/sunbathed in Miami all my life and the amount of garbage that comes in during the WMC is unbelievable. Last year I remember bringing home around 15,370 USB sticks in one day and going straight to my local incinerator and having them destroyed lest they be reused by anyone trying to record the great American trap-album.”

Not all local people are pleased with the cancellation with Joao Mendes claiming he is worried about the local Moped traders. “For years we’ve made a living from hiring Mopeds to Cockneys during the WMC,” he explained. “My sister also runs the ‘Fuck Me I’ve A Baby’ for David (Guetta) when he is here too. David always paid her for her overtime too when the parents didn’t return from the ‘Apple Bobbing Beach Barbecue’ sponsored by Defected or whatever, he was a very generous man.”

As delegates headed for the exits this evening many, including Joanne Spalding from London, spoke of the fact that “WMC had been ruined by the conference that goes on during the week” with many others citing “the conference part of WMC” as pointless with Joanne telling us “I’ve been coming here since House music started, back in 2010, but now it’s time to find another place to go” before speculating on an island in the Mediterranean called “Ibiza or something that might be good”.