Miley Cyrus Set To Shock Fans by Keeping Clothes On in New Music Video
The thinkable has finally happened. It could mark the end of the world as we know it. Miley Cyrus, crotch-wiggler of international renown, has announced the shock move that she will wear clothes in her upcoming video. It marks the fruition of a trend started by many pop acts back in the 1960’s.
Miley’s father and pimp, Billy Ray Cyrus, who is famous for destroying the very concept of music with his soul crushing track, “Achy Breaky Heart”, has denounced the move, saying, “Have you actually listened to her songs? This could be the end of Miley’s career. I’ve warned her on numerous occasions about the tenuous grip she has on the world, thus forcing her into ever more elaborate degrees of nakedness in an attempt to distract from the fact that there is nothing of merit in her music. It’s like the Emperor’s new clothes. However, in this case, the Emperor’s nakedness is cleverly disguising the fact that his grasp on power is not as strong as he thinks.”
We at Wunderground asked Miley how she felt about this shocking move, however, her translator was away on holiday at the time, and we could not discern any sense from the frenzy of tongue wagging and hammer licking that followed, but we were assured by her management that she was in agreement with them entirely.
It was at this point that her stylist/wrecking ball operator, Lance Flimpton, implied that Miley’s arse might go solo in the near future. We took Lance aside to ascertain the details. He said that Miley was increasingly jealous over the attention that her rear-end was receiving, and there had been some tense moments between the two in the preceding weeks. He implied that some of Miley’s provocative dance moves were actually the product of an argument that she and her arse were having on stage. “Either that or she’s got worms. I don’t know which.”
We attempted to question Miley on this rumour, however she had already been loaded onto the back of the truck with the other equipment used on stage for her Bangerz tour. We did find Billy Ray standing at the back of the truck however, where he was busy counting money, licking his lips and muttering the words “Mac-Daddy” to himself repeatedly.
We attempted to question him on the idea of her arse going solo, to which his eyes lit up, sparkling with dollar signs. And before we could question him further on the rumours that Miley will keep her clothes on, before we could find out the truth about the plans her arse has for after the tour, he had disappeared into a cloud of money, leaving only a trail of drool and bad acting behind him.
We will keep you updated on this very important story as news comes in.