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April 17, 2013
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Outrage As Tubridy Welds Dildo To Kneecap

Outraged viewers of The Late Late Show lit up the RTE switchboard in their dozens last night after host Ryan Tubridy callously blow-torched a dildo to a paraplegic’s kneecap.

During the controversial segment, a typically unengaging shambles of an interview with Ireland’s paraplegic Rugby Team, a mischief eyed Tubridy capriciously produced a twelve inch sex toy from beneath his desk and ignited a blowtorch.

As the elderly studio audience looked on with bemused detachment Tubridy set about soldering the dildo to the stunned rugby captain’s kneecap while cracking wise about the man’s inability to reproduce.

Despite the man’s protestations, and his wife’s subsequent suicide, RTE bosses say they have no plans to reprimand Tubridy.

“The dildo soldering was no more offensive than any other show Ryan’s done,” a dead-eyed spokesman for the national broadcaster stated this morning. “They’re all equally awful.”

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